Where has the year gone?

It’s scary. A lot of the beginning of the year I cannot remember. Not because I was super drunk (I rarely drink) and have no recollection of it, or because I chose to forget it because it clearly must have been very traumatic. I just don’t recall it. I’m sure that if I read through my much earlier posts I can gauge what I was doing and how I was feeling.. It will all come rushing back to me.. But for now..? Nothing.. Nada.. Zip.

So the year. I turned 25 this year. A quarter of a century. I’ve been feeling that lately. Definitely. I’ve been in a place where I am stressing out because I am growing up – As you do every year – And wanting to be a lot further than I am in life. I panic because I think that at my age I should have done a whole lot more. I am comparing myself to someone else and therein lies the problem. I have said before that the path everyone walks is different and when people reach where they are going we have no idea how they have gotten there or what they have been through, that’s why it’s never good to compare. You are comparing yourself to what it is they are choosing to show you.. You have no idea what is happening behind closed doors.

Tonight I wasn’t planning on posting anything ‘profound’ so to speak.. I’m just reflecting. I guess that it’s just that time of the year. I have been slow off the mark this time. I’m usually already planning the next year by this point – in this case 2015. I have realised something. I can make plans. Whether those plans actually come to fruition is another matter entirely. I have therefore decided to refrain from making any life plans and just see how things go. I have faith in the fact that my life has purpose. Annoying thing about me though is that I want to always see all the previews before I decide whether or not I want to continue to watch the film. Unfortunately for me.. My life doesn’t come with previews.. Not officially anyway. I just have to trust that what’s coming up is going to be good and let go of the things that I know I cannot control.

Easier said than done..


~ by originalapplejunkie on November 5, 2014.

2 Responses to “November..?”

  1. Oh how I wish I could preview my life right now! :-/ We just have to blunder on together I guess 🙂

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