Who is she?

Who is she?

And when did it become what defined her?

Was it the bullying that started when she began a new school at 7? Or the heartbreak she felt when she suffered rejection at 14? Or the fact that her best friend died weeks before his 20th birthday?

This is the problem. You can’t live in the past. Yes things have happened, but they shouldn’t control today.

And yet.. I find that they do.

I slip.. In and out of consciousness.. Becoming the child I was at 7.. the teenager at 14.. then at 17.. and all of the ages in between.

Who is she?

Who am I?

Am I the volunteer who gives hours of her time because she loves making people happy? Am I the listening ear, friend and confidant? Am I the person who goes to talk to someone sat on their own because I know how it feels to feel alone being surrounded by people?

She’s a giver.

Over and over again.. Selfless.

Why can’t these be the things that she remembers?

The good far outweighs the bad but in the moment all the good is out the window. Why?

Who is she?

And when did it become what defined her?

She is a friend, a sister, a daughter. She is hurt but not broken so she stands up and she smiles.

She is hopeful for her future and thankful for her past – even the bad times.

She tries to see the good in everyone and maybe that’s a bad thing but she has never been a pessimist.

She is brave. She takes risks. She loves. Unreservedly and unashamed.

She is me.

~ by originalapplejunkie on June 22, 2014.