Self-Talk II

What’s changed?

My attitude.. Definitely my attitude. I used to walk around happy.. But not happy genuinely.. There was always an element of pretend there.
I’ve changed my attitude. My self-talk is louder but is completely positive. When I’m thinking about anything and start hearing something negative about myself I start to laugh as I know there cannot possibly be any truth to the malicious thoughts being formed in my mind.

How did I change my self-talk? I don’t know.. I just decided that enough was enough really. Allowing myself to believe those lies was poisoning me from the inside out.. Causing depression, self-loathing and hatred. I grew tired of hearing the lies that I had believed to be truth for so long.

It took a long time to be happy with who I was. A long time to realise that I am worth a lot more than I liked to believe.
I’m taking more care of myself a lot more. I’m working out because I know the importance of being healthy and fit.. Being able to look in the mirror and like what I see. I’ve changed my eating habits.. My sleeping habits. My routine is completely different. This shift is long overdue and the change welcomed with open arms.

Certain things in life are a process.
You cannot expect major change overnight, the same way you cannot expect a seed you planted today to be producing harvestable crops one week later. It takes years of nurturing the seeds, watering them, pulling out the weeds, feeding them.. When all of this is done regularly and with consistency is when you will see the apples coming through.. Or the spinach.. Or tomatoes.. You get the idea.

I’m going through my own process to make me a better me.
I know I have been talking “happy” on my blog for the last few days.. But it is honestly because I can’t help the way I feel at the moment!
It’s such overwhelming joy that I can only describe as peace.

I’m no longer held ransom to what other people think of me.. What they expect me to act like and how I’m expected to behave. I have changed my attitude towards how people see me and feel like my world has changed.
At work.. I had been struggling for a while due to the perceptions I felt people had of me. I changed my attitude and now work is great. I am healthy and happy in my approach to work. I don’t wake up not wanting to go or worried about what the day will hold. It’s awesome.

I’m sorry if a lot of what I’m saying is repetitive but I want you to understand. This change I’ve felt inside of me is something that I feel cannot be described with any words that I know. It’s like a light switch was flicked on within me and since then I can feel that my light has been shining. My smile has become brighter, my attitude beaming and again my self-talk completely positive.

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like this before.. But I know it will continue and challenge you to join me. I feel like I have broken through a ceiling I have been living under for years.. I can do anything. Everything. And nothing – I hope that you understand.

I now need to wash my hair because if I do it in the morning it won’t dry in time before work.

I’ll leave you with this:
If you had a precious stone – e.g. A ruby – and you dropped it and it became dirty – would it not still be a ruby under all that dirt? When you cleaned it and took care of it,  it would still be the same ruby you had before; and even dirty – it would still be a precious stone. So why is it when we are dropped.. do something wrong and feel dirty and worthless do we not remember that we – underneath all the dirt and grime – are still rubies?
We are worth so much more than we allow ourselves to believe because one mistake or another that was made whenever it happened. Let it go.
We are such precious stones. We just need to dust ourselves off.. Get rid of the dirt and the grime and just shine. It may take a little while but there’s no rush.. Rome wasn’t built in a day and changes take time..

I’m sorry about the essay.. But I’m still on a high of life and for that I am not apologising.
I challenge you this week to change your attitudes.. Your mindsets.. Your ideas and your self-talk.
Send me a message and let me know how it worked for you.

As I close this post I encourage you to look deep within yourself and realise that all rubies have flaws. Instead of focusing on the imperfections focus on how precious they are.. How beautiful they can be and realise the value that they hold.. That YOU hold..

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~ by originalapplejunkie on May 18, 2014.

4 Responses to “Self-Talk II”

  1. It is truly wonderful to read this from you Apple. You are a gem and very precious and to believe that and go out in strength to face the world is a secret not enough people understand and believe. Blessings to you x

    • It’s amazing the lies you can believe about yourself if you don’t put a stop to them.. what can soon become truth and be extremely damaging.
      The realisation is just.. wow.
      I hope this never ends.. I like this feeling.
      I feel like I’ve been walking on clouds for days..
      The sun may also have something to do with it..:D

  2. Oh gosh you’re talking to me. I have realized recently that I am a “sick perfectionist”, in other words I feel bad about everything that I don’t say, do or write “perfectly”. However since last week, I have decided to let it GO!! This is why I say that you’re talking to me. I had to LET IT GO! Also I recently stopped believing something about myself that was planted in my mind in childhood. Everything proved the opposite of what I thought but I believed that thought. It’s over! Dare I say it, God delivered me because it was resolved through prayer. Thanks for this good dose of positivity Apple ^^

    • I was a sick perfectionist too.. But I used to feel bad about saying no to people and doing things because I was afraid that if I didn’t – however inconvenient it was for me – people would think less of me.. and that is not right.
      When things get “spoken” into us for so long, it’s not surprising that we start to believe them to be true.. but I am so glad you have let it go! I thought it was just me going through such a drastic change! I think this is something I had been asking God for for a while and always made an excuse as to why I had to stay in the situation I was.. but no more!
      It feels amazing to feel so free! There must be something in the air! x

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