To Keep or not to Keep..

Sometimes I don’t think that I deserve new things. I know I need them.. but I cannot bring myself to buy them.. saying to myself that surely I can just manage with what I’ve got since I’ve been managing for a while..

I needed a new pair of boots. Now, stating I needed  a new pair of boots would assume that I had an old pair of boots to replace. This is not the case.

I am in no way an avid shopper. I purchase things when I need them if I absolutely have to otherwise I don’t. I have a sister who is 28.. we’re the same size in clothes. A lot of the time (and I mean an awful lot), when she’s finished with her clothes, she’ll give them to me to wear. I love getting her clothes because it means I don’t have to waste silly amounts of money on buying new clothes for myself. The only things I usually get on my own are shoes because we are not the same size there.. And undergarments of course.

So, I needed a new pair of boots as the shoes I had been wearing to work were not weather appropriate. They are flat ballerina pumps. In this weather of wind and rain, wearing those shoes; my feet are soaked in the walk from my apartment to the train station which is 10 minutes away, then that wets my tights and then I have cold feet and it goes on and on. I have become tired of tiptoeing everywhere to avoid wet feet and decided that today after work I would browse some shops to see if I could find a pair of boots.. and possibly a new pair of not-so-flat ballet pumps that wouldn’t soak up water every chance they got.

I went into the first store, saw a pair of boots but they were a funny colour. I asked a store assistant if that was all they had and she responded that if I took the boots to the cash desk, I could check if they had any online and order them there, so I did that. I got to the desk and ordered the boots in black and a pair of 200 denier tights to go with them (simply because all my tights pretty much need to be replaced.. I take those from my sister too :P) and I left the store happy with my order.
I went over to the next shop, walked straight to the shoe section and saw a pair of wide fit (yay!) not-so-flat ballet pumps, looked at the price and without hesitation I went towards the cash desk. I grabbed a pair of 300 denier fleece lined tights on the way. I got to the desk and paid.

I made my way back to the train station and got home. Sitting in bed some time later, I started thinking if I really needed the boots. Knowing I did, I found myself justifying why I should return them when they arrived and that the not-s0-flat flats that I bought were probably investment enough. I started telling myself I probably wouldn’t even wear the boots and they may not fit properly when they arrive and whether they do or not they should be returned.

I drove myself crazy with all the scenarios going round in my head. I DO need them and they WILL benefit me! Maybe I feel like I don’t really deserve them when even though the shoes I am wearing now are kind of fulfilling the purpose, I could do with some that fulfil the purpose of keeping my feet dry a tiny bit better!

To return or not to return the boots I am yet to receive? That is the question.

I think I’ll keep them.. At least I hope I will..

~ by originalapplejunkie on February 12, 2014.