Self

That moment when you realise that you can’t breathe.. Because HE takes your breath away.

Foolish heart.. Why can’t I be different.. Why couldn’t I not be so extreme.. So defensive.. Maybe then this wouldn’t have been as hard.
It’s my own fault for being the way that I am.. Quick to lash out.. Without thinking about the consequences that result in my lack of thinking. It’s so easy to blame someone else for being the way you are.. Being the way I AM.. But I don’t because I know the blame lies with me.. So for that I take full responsibility.
I don’t know what to do now.. With myself. It hurts to smile.. To laugh.. To breathe. I think about you and I hurt. A hurt that I never even knew existed.. That I created when I hurt you.
I was so selfish.. And it hurt me to be that way.. I didn’t want to be.. I promise. And I hope that you understand that.

One day at a time from now. Just one day at a time.