I Am..

Now that graduation is looming..I have quite a bit on my mind..

These past few months have got me thinking so much about a future I was so sure about a few years ago..but now that it’s drawing closer, I’m starting to question.

Deep down, I think I know what I want.. But it just doesn’t seem like it’s within my grasp.

I’m questioning.. almost second guessing myself. A lot.

I often think about if I’d decided on a different course of life.. Would I have had the same experiences.. Been presented with the same opportunities..Met the same people? But I realise that those “What If’s..” are wasted..because they didn’t happen.. and I know the more I think about was wasn’t as opposed to what is..it won’t change anything at all..

Don’t get me wrong..I’m so ready to start life and get on with it.. And I am happy with life now.. But it seems like the end of this chapter is hanging by a thread in the balance as opposed to be poised and standing to attention.

I haven’t written in a while, which I think is where I’ve been going wrong.

I haven’t blogged as much..written anything in my journal or thought of any new spoken word pieces..and I think that the pent-up frustration that usually comes out on paper has now built up to a point where something’s got to give..

I don’t know if I’m certain about anything any more..

And I guess that’s okay..





~ by originalapplejunkie on March 11, 2013.

13 Responses to “I Am..”

  1. It’s kind of scary getting ready to write in a new chapter of your book when you look at the page and it is blank. I am so proud of you for how far you have come!

    • Thank you Terry..
      So sorry I haven’t been as active as I usually am..I’m just trying to give it my all at school in these last two months..the final hurdle..then I’ll be able to breathe πŸ˜›

  2. It is ok, yes! We all do it – second guess ourselves, question our plans, ask ‘what if?…’ and so on. That’s all good and healthy. What I’ve been amazed with in my life is that when I look at each ten years in the past, I would NEVER have believed I’d be doing what I did ten years later! With moving into full-time writing very soon, I’ll be able to say the same again with this new venture in my life! Who knows what I’ll be doing ten years from now?

    The point is, you are young and things can always change again. Go for things, try them out and if they don’t work out, do something else. Never regret what you have done though. You’ll find your way through life and find your thing. For now, just enjoy the experience and giving things a go. At the end of the day, we both know that someone else is in charge of our lives and He won’t let us down. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you for such an uplifting comment Ken!
      Everything that you said there does make sense, but sometimes one forgets how blessed and favoured we are, thinking with our own mindset instead of that of our father..
      I’m working on enjoying experiences, but for now, I need to get my work done, pass my exams then graduate and see where I go from there.. πŸ™‚
      I always appreciate your wise words..
      Have a blessed week Ken πŸ˜›

  3. Wow, this is very deep contemplation you wrote of today. My answer is that it is ok. I believe you are a thinker, which means you’ll always analyze life and things around you. You’re not in the “ignorance is bliss” category πŸ˜€
    I sometimes wish I was in that category lol.
    Yes, it’s ok and just continue down the path you set goals on (if I’m allowed to advise) πŸ™‚

    • Of course you are allowed to advise!
      I think a problem of mine is that I over-analyse myself..then it turns into me questioning things and everything gets jumbled up and I begin to feel lost..sometimes I just forget to breathe I guess..
      And I may not always know what is right..or even make the right decisions..all I can do is trust that things will work out for me πŸ™‚
      Down the path I go.. πŸ™‚

  4. I think one very important factor is to be happy with the people with whom you will be working. It is more important than the job even, because it is your life – so it should be with people who are good to be with.

    • I completely agree David..
      I know if I got my dream job, and I couldn’t work well with the people I was with, I wouldn’t be happy..
      I hope I’m happy..But I guess we’ll just have to see.. πŸ™‚

  5. Do you think you might think too much? Let it flow: life is fantastic if you let it come as a surprise, once you start analysing the past and worrying about the future it’s not half so much fun.

  6. I haven’t visited your blog for ages, missed ya mate! Just stop worrying about stuff and enjoy yourself.

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