Day 315..#Something’s Gotta Give..

Uurgh.

I can’t believe it’s Friday already..the weeks are going too fast right now!

I’m still trying to get up to date with my University work, but it’s quite difficult because I’m tired all the time..and most days I’m finding it a challenge to stay awake.

I cannot study in my room. That much, I already know..it has always been that way.

I always wake up with good intentions and throughout the day find everything that hasn’t ever been distracting to me exactly that.

Even now..I find myself dozing off..

I’m not anaemic..that would explain a lot if I were..but that is not the case..

I’m just working really hard..all the time..but as much as I am working hard..I am also resting in equal doses..so I’m not overdoing anything.

I’m always in bed before 12 midnight and awake by 7 or 8am, dependent upon what time I have a class.

I’m also eating properly..bar yesterday when the kitchen stove broke down..I am eating properly.

I have my 5 (usually more) portions of fruit and veg a day, my protein, starch and carbohydrates and on occasion, little treats.

I eat healthy. I’m fit, I exercise..so I do not understand all the fatigue and where it’s coming from.

I don’t think  I eat enough kale though.

I love kale.. it’s so delicious.

But back to my trauma.

Maybe I’m not resting as much as I think I am..or maybe I am overworking myself..or maybe I’m just imagining all this so I have an excuse to fall asleep and not to do any work.

I was supposed to have the weekends off to do my Final Year Project..but I’m finding that I haven’t done enough work so I can’t do what I’ve planned to.

I need to create a timetable. I think that’s what the problem is.

This is the first time I haven’t had a timetable OR a diary (I misplaced my diary and my life has been such a stress since then..now I’m just waiting until January to get a new one because I don’t like Academic Diaries..I like full year ones)..so maybe this is just a sign of me not being able to cope without order.

My life has always had order..and not a formal complex structure, but a structure of sorts..like a framework..

Now I have nothing.

I feel like I am flying around in limbo..and that needs to stop because clearly it’s wearing me out.

I keep saying “by next week, x, y, z will be sorted..” and even though I have every intention to, I still find that a week later, it’s still in the works..

This is so unlike me.

I am definitely not taking this attitude into the next week with me..because frankly I’m appalled at myself too much!

A friend of mine told me to make sure I’m taking time to rest..and I think I am..but there is so much that I need to get done, and it definitely feels like there are not enough hours to do everything in.

 

Something has definitely got to give!

~ by originalapplejunkie on November 9, 2012.