Day 165..#Don’t Give Up..

You know when you just need to lie down..

Like..allow your body to fully relax..not sleep..but relax?

I had one of those moments today..If my body could speak..it would probably cry..lol!

My day started off bright and early with some revision for tomorrow’s exam..then my study buddy and I met up with another friend to have lunch..then we had cherries for dessert πŸ˜›
It had been a productive day all in all.

I knew that upon my return home, I would have to continue my revision for my Friday exam..and knowing that just made me tired.

Then my parents called on Skype and asked me how I was doing..I responded “Not good..I can’t be bothered with this any more..I’m tired..”

My parents listened to me..their faces somewhat disbelieving what was coming from my mouth.

“I never had you down as a quitter” my dad said..”Do what you need to do..and do it as best as you can and God will do the rest..”

I could hear what he was saying..but I wasn’t listening..

That little doubting voice was loud and clear..telling me to give up..I refused to oblige..even though I was near enough coming dangerously close.

I had become frustrated with myself..and my parents could tell..everything they were saying made sense..but it also made me annoyed at the same time that they weren’t being “sensitive”..could they not see that I was tired?!

We ended the conversation by my dad telling me that I need to do what I came here to do..and in the end when it’s all over..I can look back and laugh at it all (plus have the qualifications to prove it!)

Sure enough that would be the case..but at the time it didn’t feel that way.

 

I opened some files and proceeded to begin studying. I made it through one and a half PowerPoint presentations before I felt like I needed to lie down. I just needed to be still. Needed to rest my brain from the constant barrage of information I was imposing on it.

I lay in bed. It was 18:33.

“At 19:15, I’ll get up again” I told myself.

19:15 came and went and I lay there..still..listening to the sound of my thoughts.

I was feeling overwhelmed again..started questioning why I came out here in the first place..just doubting myself.

“You can do this.”

Huh, I thought..What?

“You are stronger than you look”

“You are the head and not the tail”..

“You have a purpose..and for everything there is a reason..”

I was hearing myself thinking these things..but in comparison to the negativity I was thinking..my self-belief and reassurance was dangerously quiet.

“Yes..” I told myself rather sheepishly..

I started to think about getting out of bed..I had work to do and I would not get it done laying there listening to whatever it was that was happening in my mind..

20:00. I climbed out of bed and jumped back onto my computer. It took me about 15 minutes to get back into the swing of things, and by 22:00 I had finished all I needed to read for my Friday exam.

In the midst of it all I realised that I can’t expect to do well if I don’t put in the work.

As tiring as it is..and as out of routine I am..I came here knowing that it would be different and welcoming the change.

No one said it would be easy after all..

Plus routines are bad for me anyway. I get comfortable and the only reason I am uncomfortable is because I am not in my comfort zone.

So, with the 3 exams I have left, I am going to stop making excuses, accept that life is what it is and regardless of what I expect..God probably has something else planned for me..and I so need to remember this!

 

I need to stop beating myself up over things I can change and just shut up and get to working!

In the wise words of my father..”Just do your part, and God will do the rest..”

Here’s to doing my part!

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~ by originalapplejunkie on June 13, 2012.

16 Responses to “Day 165..#Don’t Give Up..”

  1. yeah for you. u have it inside to do what needs to be done. god will help u Apple, and you will be so proud when you have that paper in the end in your hand

  2. You have a very wise dad! I’m glad you didn’t quit. Nothing ventured…nothing gained. You can do it, and yes, there will be times when you feel the overload on your brain and body. Rest, eat some fruit for energy, and get back to it. By the way, did you know that cherries, especially the dark ones are great for energy, pain, and many other things that slow us down and make us tired. Why not put a bowl of cherries next to your computer, so that when you feel drained they can be a quick pick-up to get you through. I just read an article about how they are great for fibromyalgia, depression, and arthritis. I ate some last weekend and have had the most productive beginning of the week I have had in months.

    • Cherries are my go-to study snack!
      I have them every single day! They are MARVELLOUS! Especially the darker ones! πŸ˜›
      I’m glad I didn’t quit too..
      Thanks for the advice!

      • You are welcome. I hope it helps you. I wish someone had told me years ago when I first started having neck pains. I don’t know if you can get Aleve over the counter there, but it contains Naproxyn and that is what doctor’s prescribe in higher dosage though for people with arthritis and fibro pain. If you can get Aleve it will help with the neck pain too. If not, look in the pain relief section of your local pharmacy and look for Naproxyn in the ingredients. Just don’t take more than 2 at a time, or 8 in a day, because more than that can cause kidney and liver problems in the long run.

      • I will go to the Pharmacy this weekend and see if I can find any..I’ve also run out of my hayfever tablets as well..so I think that has been contributing a little to my feeling of lethargy and some of the pain (blocked sinuses..uurgh!)

      • My allergist said allergies are bad this year due to all the wierd weather…more mold and pollen than usual.

      • I noticed that too..I haven’t had hayfever this bad in about 2 or so years..but we’ll see..

  3. I’ve got faith in you, always knew you were tough enough to make it, and you gotta be tough if you want to run in my pack!

  4. You’re nearly there, just hang in, kiddo! πŸ™‚

  5. Hey Apple – I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award. πŸ™‚
    http://teaandtantalisingtales.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=533&action=edit&message=6&postpost=v2

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