Day 141..#Bring It On..

Last week I gave up on myself.

I collapsed into a quivering heap..a shell of a person.

Distraught and confused, I found myself tired, frustrated and fed up. I wanted to go home.

No longer was there the positive me. It was hard. Seeing myself..being so upset..wanting not to be and just not having the strength to change how I felt or my situation.

Maybe I was just too sensitive..I thought..Maybe I was overreacting..disorganised..a failure..I thought I was a lot of things.

 

This week I choose to live and forget the past.

I choose to forget why I was upset..overwhelmed and frustrated.

I am choosing to forgive..even though the word is much easier to type than orchestrating the action.

I’m choosing to trust what God has in store for me.

It’s a new day, it’s a new week..it’s a new attitude.

Bring it on.

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~ by originalapplejunkie on May 20, 2012.

15 Responses to “Day 141..#Bring It On..”

  1. i love it! what ever has happened in your life, u r able to jump back up, get on board, trust God and move forward. horray!

  2. There’s nothing wrong with being scared. When I’m scared I tell myself I know I’m scared, that’s OK, then I go do it anyway.

  3. We all have those moments, but usually we are not all that far away from home like you are. Sounds to me you needed your mom at that moment, and those hugs that heal the soul. I’m glad you are doing better now. Maybe the next time you should give your mom a call and just talk through it, because sometimes moms’ voices can be like a long distance hug.

    • My mother usually knows before I call about anything..lol..she’s a mother like that..ha ha..
      Also..I’m a daddys girl..so I’d probably have told my father before my mother..but my father wasn’t home..he was travelling last week..so there was no one to skype with..
      But yeah..I’m okay now..I do miss home..as much as I like this place..it’d be all the more better if someone I *knew* was here last week..but its all well and good..I survived and most of all I never gave up! πŸ™‚

      • That is what matters most, is you made it through it by yourself, instead of letting it overtake you more. You know one thing as parents we want to know is that when we are gone from this world that our children can make it on their own without us. You want to know if they can get through rough times emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially, You also want to know that they have the common sense to stay safe. You’ve proven that to yourself and to your parents as well. It’s okay to always let them know you still need them once in a while though. You are a stronger person for it!

      • I’ve never seen it like that..but you are a parent so you know!
        I am definitely a stronger person for it and have learnt a lot about myself this year..still learning every day and boy am I going back a different and better person. You cannot embark on this kind of experience and not gain something from it. I have gained truckloads!
        And I thank God..because before I knew this was..He knew..and had prepared everything ahead of me..

      • Well, I can see it as a parent with older daughters, yes, but I can see it as you also. From the time I was a child until I was 37, I always had family, whether my mom and family, or a husband and family. But when my marriage broke up I was on my own for the first time ever, except raising children. I was frightened to be on my own, being responsibility for the whole support, the healthcare, the survival of the 2 daughters at home. My mom passed when I was 21, and my dad passed when I was in my early 30’s. There are times I felt just like you did this past week. I felt like curling up in a fetal position and give up. That is when I’d turn on every song I could get that talked about God helping us through, or women surviving, and I would turn them on loud. Before I knew it I was singing along at the top of my lungs, and I would be ready to attack the world. I knew that in those moments my mom would be proud that I got past it on my own, and that I was able to make it on my own.

      • That’s an amazing testimony..and I’m sorry you went through that..but clearly..you have come out a stronger woman..
        I do the music thing too..even though its hard to want to cheer up when your so adamant in making sure you wallow in self-pity and despair..but that’s what the enemy wants..to make you feel alone and like giving up..then it’s a fight to get to my computer and put on some Israel Houghton and just like that..the mood shifts..

      • See, music can heal the soul! They have found musical therapy a great way to help people with injuries, and illnesses to heal. It’s becoming a big thing in the medical field, especially with people fighting depression. For me I just love music, and singing, and that is why I changed my major from business to music/vocal performance when I went back to college at 35.

  4. Good for you girl – you’ve got the right idea πŸ™‚

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