“Good” Hair Part II
Okay…I’ve already done one blog about hair…but a whole lot more are to come…like this one!
WAIVER: I also have a confession to make…I am slightly obsessed with hair…especially natural long hair…I’m always looking at articles, or watching videos on YouTube or talking to people with natural hair and relaxed hair alike on why it’s so important to black and multi-racial women and why people feel defined by their tresses.
So I was reading an article on madamenoire.com about hair! Surprise, surprise! But yeah…was reading an article about weaves, relaxers, kids who get relaxers, so called “good hair” and a whole load of other things…then that transitioned to me looking at video’s and what not on YouTube (one of which I’ve posted below by Dead Prez basically appreciating women in their natural beauty…which is what I’m about! note: I said natural beauty not natural hair…just making a quick note) looking at what people have to say on Natural vs Relaxed hair…
**(I hope noone’s offended by the content of this video…if so I’m sorry! I’m not disregarding or putting down any type of woman…I love you all!!! It’s about what the song represents to each one of us…it doesn’t need to apply…and I’m definitely not everything in this…but I love it!! Kissesss!! xxxxxx)**
So my hair journey started you know…like most…when I was born…and I have two older sisters before me, so hair care in my house was a big deal for my mother.
She used to do our hair in thread (for all ya’ll who are African will know what I’m talking about), and kinda send us to school looking like Medusa reincarnated! We hated it like nobody’s business, but it kept our hair soft and manageable for her to do.
My mom is good with hair, very good, and usually did other little girls hair (like family friends and whatnot). So one day…like she does, my mom was doing my hair…and it was fine…a few days later my hair…starts to fall out…in giant clumps! Like scabbing at the scalp and just falling out!
I remember going all over the place, taking all sorts of medicines and trying all sorts of remedies, but my hair kept falling out…then one day when I was 6 years old…my mother decided that it’d be better to cut it all off before it all dropped out. That was by far…one of THE MOST emotional days of my life! Can you imagine having all your hair cut off at 6 years old??! Kids are extremely cruel…let me just tell you that!
So for a few years after that…I wore this pink summer hat…whilst my hair grew back and whilst my mom tried to get it back to the state it was before…and you know…it helped…she saved my hair. Then I hit 12 or 13, and became obsessed with growing my hair out.
I was one of the few kids in my year at my high school who wore their hair natural and didn’t have a relaxer (wasn’t allowed to wear braids either), and I didn’t get teased…(well not unless it rained anyway)…but it just kinda allowed me to see the damage that can be done to a young girls head when their hair has been relaxed without the correct kinda upkeep…Lemme not exaggerate though…it wasn’t all girls who had hair like this…but most of them.
That period made me appreciate hair…and my hair in all its naturalness (even if it was different) and healthiness but I still wanted to grow grow grow my hair…for the simple reason that it got cut off and that kinda scarred me a bit…so I wanted to prove to myself…you know…that you know…hair grows…which surprise, surprise…it does!
But yeah…I don’t understand why hair is such a big deal…you should love yourself no matter what kind of hair you have on your head…but nowadays, ladies are defined by their locks, curls, fro’s or perms, and it’s crazy. To me, the whole natural vs perm divide is almost as bad as the “light skinned” vs “dark skinned” foolishness that’s been going on for how long (but that’s another post…that will come soooon)!
I’ve watched YouTube videos and read articles on how girls say their families are embarrassed by them because of their natural hair and they talk about them and call them ugly…that’s so sad…
I know some people prefer natural hair to relaxed hair and vice versa and being natural myself, I’m not going to force someone else to become natural because it works for me…cuz it doesn’t work for everyone…some people may not want to try it because point blank, they don’t like natural hair, or some just like their hair the way they’ve grown up with it.
I’m not opposed to relaxers, but my parents were when we were growing up…I felt like it was my dad more than my mom at times as well…I don’t know if that’s the majority…but that was us…
We were those kids that my mom sat down and locked our heads between her knees and did our hair whether we squirmed, cried or fidgeted…and I’m so thankful for that cuz it made our hair soft and manageable.
My two older sisters have relaxers in their hair…(when the oldest sister did it though…it was a bit of an issue, then my parents got used to it – only an issue because they preferred it natural) and for the longest while…I wanted a relaxer as well…and I was told…(by my sisters and mom) “you shouldn’t get relaxers cuz you can’t maintain it”, “it costs too much money”, “it’ll ruin your hair”…bearing in mind my sisters had relaxers in their hair and they looked NIIIICE…so I wasn’t really buying their argument…then when I you know thought about it some more…I realised I liked my hair the way it was.
After my “big chop” (I put big chop in the adverted comma’s because mine was by force like you read above), my hair was soo…it was natural…like it was before…and my mom did everything in her power…like she’d been doing when we were growing up, to make sure I had my long healthy hair back again…and you know…it grew back (because you know hair does grow…contrary to popular belief apparently!) better, thicker and longer.
It was a really hard time though…being 6 years old in school, bald, and having to wear a pink summer hat on your head all year round…**with the occasional school bully running past you and pulling your hat off your head exposing your baldness for the whole school to see as a dare**…for those few years that pink hat was my best friend.
Why am I telling you this you ask? Because I’ve realised, that unlike what my parents decided to not do…a lot of moms (and if it wasn’t moms, it was aunts and grandma’s and cousins) did do…they relaxed their daughters hair when she was like 4 or 5 so she doesn’t even remember what her natural hair looks like and so if they make that decision to go natural, most are then disappointed because their hair is not what they expect it to look like or be…and from what they see they kinda gage what they think their hair would look like then get disappointed…
But yeah…like I said in my previous hair post…I’ve been wearing weaves in my hair now for almost…4 years…maybe 5…I can’t actually remember.
Now a lot of you are probably thinking…didn’t she say she was obsessed with hair and her hair and natural hair??! Yes…all those things are true…but like I said before…I have quite a bit of hair…over the past year though, it has grown out quicker than usual…which I’m not complaining about! But yeah…for me…weaves in the winter, are a protective style…like when I sometimes do braids/twists in the summer…**using the crown and glory technique really does work…research it**
I feel for me…that I’m at a stage in my hair journey where I’m kinda like…as long as your hair is healthy, and you’re taking care of it…and your happy…I’ll be happy regardless!!
That’s all I have to say for now…more blog posts on this topic will DEFINITELY follow…but I’d just like to add…whatever stage of your hair journey you’re in…natural or perm…and that includes Transitioning as well…embrace and love who you are…you are beautiful…you are NOT your hair…
…well…not unless you wana be…
Loves
xx
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